Avoiding burnout is like not watching a train wreck...
You see it coming (sometimes) and it's hard to stop the weeks, months, or years of events that got you to this point. Do you really want to get on the bullet train where things blur past and you can’t see what is happening around you? Doesn’t it seem more enjoyable to live life like you are out for a nice leisurely Sunday ride?
I have experienced both of these rides and can say the train wreck that was my burnout almost caused total destruction.
So, how did it happen and what did I do about it?
Better yet, what could I have done to slow down, stop, or hopefully avoid it happening? Keep reading.
The short answer on how it happened is lots of things piled on me, like so many other women, and I just couldn’t say no or ask for help.
As a divorced mom of two girls, I worked my normal 9-5 job alongside my part-time job to make sure I didn’t let my kids experience any loss of lifestyle. I also ran a jewelry design business on the side. So many other obligations piled up that I never knew what I was going to have to do at the last minute that wasn’t on my schedule.
Make some cookies? SURE! Bring something for the work potluck? SURE! I took on more and more and more…
The only boundaries I knew about were the city, state, and country borders. That was how I related to boundaries. When it came to having an option to say no or NOT do something, it was a foreign concept. It wasn’t something that happened overnight. It took years of saying yes too often that got me on that bullet train headed for the brick wall.
What could I have done to have a different ending? For me, there wasn’t anything at that time that I could (or would) have done differently. Like most women, I had to burn out before I realized my destructive behavior.
Are all those hats you wear pushing you down so much your feet are below ground level?
Do you feel stressed and overwhelmed, like an elephant is sitting on your shoulders?
Have you slid to the floor like a pair of silk pants might slide off the bathroom counter?
Do your arms feel so heavy you can barely keep them on the steering wheel?
If so, you are on the bullet train headed for burnout at an alarming speed. Hopefully, there is time for you to get off at the next station.
The biggest thing you can do to stop feeling this way is to say no to some things. It seems cruel at first but it gets easier. Stop giving away all your time and energy to things you don’t love to do because it sucks the life out of you quicker than a vampire. I am not one that likes to cook but did it for office potlucks, parties, school events, and any other reason someone asked. I wanted to be a good girl and please others (look for another blog on that in the near future!). That meant saying yes to ALL the requests.
Want to know where we say yes more than we should? Any guesses??? Work tasks and our kids or partners. That means we say yes to ourselves the least.
Can you imagine how you would feel if you said F the three dozen cookies for the bake sale and took a nap?
OMG- it feels so delicious to wake up Saturday afternoon at about three and have the energy to enjoy the rest of the day. You get that good feeling by saying no to making cookies you didn’t want to make in the first place.
Saying yes to someone else means:
Saying no to yourself.
Your time and energy get drained.
Overcommitting causes fatigue.
Resentment builds because you do it all yourself.
I’ll be sharing more tips on ways to avoid burnout and how to set some boundaries in your life so that it will be easier to avoid burnout in upcoming communications. Until then, say no, ask for help, take a nap, and enjoy life on that beautiful Sunday drive!
Peace and Love~
Teresea
