Make choices that keep your battery charged longer

Oh boy, where do I even begin? 

The struggle is definitely real when it comes to expectations placed upon us... especially in my experience as a woman.

If we are in a relationship, it's as if society thinks we should do certain things (and we must do them well or we will be judged harshly) and behave in ways based on our gender. When we are “single ladies” then people think we need a partner…so that we can continue to carry the load of the house and children (if we have them).

Dear readers, I'm here to shed some light (both literally and sarcastically) on these notions.

Let's start with the expectations placed on…

Physical Appearance.

Women are expected to be thin and curvy.

Our skin, hair, and makeup are to be flawless. 

Don't forget to smile! 

Just walk around like Barbie dolls all the time. 

Somehow we also are expected to have fulfilling careers and personal achievements. One of which is to focus on our appearance but not look like we made an effort.

Do you feel it too?

And speaking of careers…

What about the expectation for women to prioritize their family over their careers?

Sick kiddo means mom is usually the one to stay home.

I don’t know about you but sometimes I want to scream “Are we only good for having and raising children?”

I’m so glad we are beyond the days when women reluctantly thought “Why bother with education and career aspirations, I'll just have to stay at home with the kids. Suzie homemaker at your service.”

While we still struggle for equal pay and opportunities and long for our relationships to be equalish, our programming keeps us still searching for a perfectly good kitchen to spend the day in.

This is why we need to take a good look at the expectations we have on ourselves (and other women) and find a why to charge our recharge our battery. We didn’t all start out so defeated and depleted.

Now, I don’t play into the expectations placed on our behavior at home or in the workplace. You know the ones I’m talking about..the ones that say women are supposed to be nurturing, emotional, and empathetic. I guess when behavioral characteristics were handed out, men were told to skip those lines.

I fully support the notion that we speak up for ourselves or assert our opinions. Even if we were taught that's unladylike! Holding in our feelings depletes our battery. It gets us no farther than a car with the brake and the gas on at the same time. There is no reason we must always be demure and submissive, but society apparently promotes that as what men find attractive.

Settle down

For the heterosexual women out there, clearly, our worth as women is solely dependent on our ability to find a mate and reproduce. From an early age, people ask little girls if that boy is their boyfriend. It makes me irritable that the start of the pressure to “find a good man to and settle down with” seems more important than the child growing up to be happy and to pursue their own dreams and goals. I guess as long as our primary goal is to find a man and pop out babies, the rest can be tolerated.

I’m not anti-relationship, marriage, or children. I fully believe that looks different for everyone and they have the right to choose how they want that to look. You get to choose what you want life to look like. That determines how enjoy your life. If your battery is charged or not. 

When I started dressing how I wanted, acting how I wanted (within reason…I don’t fight as much as I would like but 🤷), made a decision to go for my own goals, and decided when I wanted to be in a relationship or not, I started feeling so much better. Learning how to charge my battery and keep it healthy rather than letting life cause me to get to the critical “low battery” or completely drained has made a huge difference for me.

The struggles women face with gender expectations are just so incredibly ridiculous and outdated. Who needs progress and equality? Let’s just stick to these archaic gender roles and expectations. **Insert big eye roll here.”

In conclusion 

• Dress the way you want. When you are comfortable, you perform better.

• Choose your career and personal goals. Then go get them. 

• Determine if you want kids. Not if someone else says you should want them.

• Pick your mate when you are ready, or don’t.

If you are ready to start regaining yourself, reach your goals, and keep your battery healthy, click this link to sign up for the Passion to Succeed and Thrive accountability group.

Peace and love,

Teresea

Photo credit: Lee Wright