You might be wondering if this feeling will ever end. 

Will the spin cycle ever stop?

If you’ve ever struggled with mental health, even a little, you know that it can feel oppressive and hopeless. I’ve had a day, a week or so, and months of struggle over the years. 

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional but I am a survivor of a struggle many of us face. These ideas are meant to support you in whatever your current mental health plan is, not replace them. 

Tip 1: Prioritize yourself.

Self-care is more than bubble baths and pedicures. These may do the trick for you and break you out of the funk you are in and they may not. The importance of self-care and the type of that care is unique. Your normal routine of exercise, meditation, and spending time on your hobbies can feel daunting when in a “bad spot.”

My suggestion is to find a handful of self-care activities and use those when you aren’t feeling quite up to being around others. These are some of the ones outside the normal recommendations that I have found to help me.

• A steamy shower with music, candles, and a beverage. 

• If you are doing this early in the morning, hot coffee or tea is a great option. My favorite time to do this is either mid-morning so that I’m ready to deal with the world, or in the evening with a small glass of whisky so I can relax and get a good night's sleep. In theory, I know the alcohol shouldn’t help but it’s something I love and it’s only one. If you are not a drinker or know one isn’t an option, hot tea will also help you relax. 

• The point of this is to get you in a different mood so adjust as needed to a bath or hot tub, add incense, nature sounds, or a book.  

• A dressing routine that can be done with or without the shower. 

• A dress always makes me feel better and the simpler it can be, the better. I have many simple cotton dresses that range from a LBD (Little Black Dress) to a flowing moo-moo I picked up in Hawaii. 

• Add a few staple jewelry items and a new person emerges from the bathroom. I love a pair of dangling earrings and a bracelet to make me feel “completely dressed” and I’ve created my own pieces so I know they are perfect for me.

• Long(ish) walks are nice when it’s something a little different than your normal routine. 

• If you are normally a walker, try a new activity like running, biking, or swimming.

• Nature and the absence of electronics allow your mind and body to decompress. 

The benefits you reap from self-care impact your physical and mental health. I suffer from a plethora of symptoms when I’m in an altered state. I might sleep a lot or very little. I might exercise like I’m running from my demons or I might be a lump on the couch. Depending on what I’m feeling determines how I go about making that change. 

Tip 2: Establish Maintain Healthy Habits

Maintain the healthy things you do as much as possible. I know!!! It’s easier said than done for sure. Lots of articles I’ve read over the years encourage you to start habits to help you through. I don’t know about you but when I’ve been in the thick of it, just starting the day seems hard enough without adding anything new to it. 

Just because your head is in a place you don’t like, you don’t have to force your body to follow. Do your best to maintain a healthy(ish) diet but also don’t beat yourself up if you have a night of eating garbage. I have dietary allergies so I *usually* do well with this but I have also been known to eat a pint of vegan chocolate ice cream while watching (multiple episodes of) Criminal Minds on Netflix. 

P.S. Most restaurants have healthy options that don’t suck. Asian food might have a lot of carbs (rice, noodles), but they also have a lot of veggies!

Sleep patterns are easy to get out of whack in this time so do your best to still get enough sleep. I don’t believe in too much sleep since my mind is always like “We’ll sleep when we are 83.” I tell it that is awful presumptuous to think we are going to be that old. My body typically agrees and I try to put us to bed. 

Tip 3: Lean into Your Support System

Your friends love and care about you and if you say it’s been a tough day, can you come over with pizza and hang out? I bet most of them would be all over that offer. My natural thoughts always go to someone NOT showing up or being there when I need them but usually that’s not true. 

My last episode of really poor mental health was a few weeks ago. It was a doozie! I told three friends I needed a night by the firepit with a bottle of bourbon and to laugh until I peed myself. Two of them showed up with a spread of food, bourbon, and all the laughs (but not of the pee!). 

I had to ask for what I needed. Building relationships as adults is hard because of work, family, and a million other responsibilities but it’s worth the effort. I encourage you to find ways to nurture existing relationships and build new ones. And of course, seek professional help when needed.

Tip 4: Stress Manage Process

This is going to be the hardest one of all. It’s even harder than prioritizing yourself. Why? Because stress comes in all shapes and sizes. Coping mechanisms are different for each person. One person can take a bath and be renewed and the other would get out of the bath still feeling like they are drowning. 

We all experience the impact of stress on mental health differently. Trying different stress management strategies, such as time management and setting boundaries (especially setting boundaries) can help and if not, try a different one next time. 

The ones that work for me are:

• Journaling. Get that shit out! 😮‍💨

• Writing helps you sort thing out by not letting them keep swirling in your mind when you think there are soooooo many things you need to do or have going on. Kinda like a brain dump. 

• The act of pen to paper helps you relieve more than stress according to Harvard so get that pen out!!!

• Guided or expressive writing can help you figure out what to do about a specific topic, work through a situation you have been through, or just decompress to lower stress.  

• Hot shower, good music, and low lights. 🚿

• Water is renewing for so many. If swimming is more enjoyable to you than a hot shower, throw on that suit and get in the water!

• Music is medicine for so many and allow a mood shift like no other. 

• A night on the couch alone with mindless TV. 

• I know I said alone and that might not work for you but for me, it reduces my need to respond. 📺

• Giving your body and mind the opportunity to get through the fight, flight, or freeze mode of stress is important.

• Making jewelry. I stress craft like nobody’s business. I get all my anxiety out by making pretty things in bulk 😀

• Focusing on the physical aspect of the materials in my hand keep my mind off of the things that have been cluttering it.

• It also gives me a sense of accomplishment when I have pretty things to show for my time.

• Being outside. I can work in the garden or sit in a hammock on the porch. 

• Vitamin D, fresh air, and the sound of the birds (or just nature) put us on a different schedule. 

• It feels like no where to be and nothing to do for just a few minutes or hours if you can manage that. 

• In colder weather, getting out to the firepit at night really makes it feel like you can relax. Things are closed, people are in bed, and you have time to breathe (but make sure you aren’t downwind of the smoke!).

My suggestion is to incorporate stress-relieving activities into your normal routine- daily or weekly. Doing things that make you feel better and feel aligned with your purpose or a passion project that allows you to work with your hands (making jewelry, gardening, painting, cooking, etc.). 

Having these things in place before you need them can help reduce the time you are feeling “out of sorts,” “not quite like yourself,” or any of the other terms we use to describe this feeling. 

While you might normally be a person full of self-compassion and positive thoughts, there are days you might let that slip and find your normal things challenging. It’s normal and you will get through this.

Leave a comment and let me know what your go to activity is when you are feeling depressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. 

Peace and love,

Teresea

Photo credit: Unsplash; Lee Wright